"Your baby looks like a boat" (aka Why I go to Work)

I started working again at the beginning of the year. When people ask me how it's going, I usually say it's going "Okay." It's definitely not great; for how few hours I'm working it's a lot harder than I thought it would be, and it's getting harder and harder the older Mariah gets. I don't really have consistent childcare. Matt comes home early once a week, when the classes are at my house I try to put Mariah down for a nap right before my students get here, and when I teach at the preschool I just bring her with me. Some days it goes fine...but there have been days where she fusses and cries for a whole class, blows out of her diaper, or just wants to be held. Either way, I feel bad that I have to adjust her whole schedule just to get in a couple hours of work during the day. And, now that she's mobile, it's almost impossible to keep an eye on her and teach at the same time. But the stuff the kids say keeps me coming back for more.


Driving up to my students' home for the first time after maternity leave. I pull up, and the two boys are standing on their front porch shouting: "HEY!!!! WHAT DID YOU NAME YOUR BABY??"
When I got closer I told them: Mariah. 

(Huge disappointment)
"Awwwww! We told you to name her Lumie!" (Apparently this means snowflake in Finnish and was the name they were really championing for at the end of my pregnancy)

"You look skinny! I mean not really skinny, but at least compared to how you looked the last time we saw you!"

I thought the awkward questions would cease once the baby was born, but turns out breastfeeding is another source of mystery and fascination for kids.

"Can you stay here and play with us?"
"No I have to go home and feed my baby!"
"Why can't your husband just feed her?"
"She's still really little so only her mom can feed her right now"
"OHHH I know what you mean...*wink!*"

"What's the baby gonna have for dinner?"
"Milk. Milk for breakfast lunch and dinner."
"Milk from the booboo?"
"Uhhh yep. anyways."
"So you mean she's gonna have booboo for dinner?

"My family did something illegal, I don't know if I should tell you."
"Ok."
"We turned on the sprinklers and we all ran around naked in the backyard. Even my dad."

"Did your baby's hands shrink?"
"Nope"
"I think they did because last time I saw her, her fingers were *thiiis* much longer" (demonstrating about a millimeter difference)

"Are you gonna tell Mariah stories about me while I'm gone?"
"I wasn't planning on it."
"I think you should. If you want you can practice while I'm here. Tell her a story about me as a fairy."

I teach one student at her grandmother's home, and with about 5 minutes left of class, she whispered to her grandma, "Go lock the door."
Her grandma said, "Miss Emily has to leave in a few minutes."
"I know, that's why I said lock the door, so she can't leave."

When Mariah was dressed in her blue and white striped onesie, one of my preschoolers told me, "Your baby looks like a boat."

A 6 year old told me, "I don't know if I really need to learn this, because when I grow up I'm going to live in Bangladesh and own a tiger and be a world class soccer player."

One of my 4 year old students has an imaginary baby friend who, coincidentally, is the exact same age as Mariah and likes to do everything she does. He told me his baby's name used to be Lizzy, but then she changed it to Lillian, and now it is Ruby. Every week he asks me what Mariah likes and what she's doing now, and then he says something like, "My baby is doing the same thing!! She's crying right now because she misses me, but I can't play with her since I'm working." I asked if he was the baby's brother or the baby's dad and he said, "I'm the baby's mom, silly! She has to eat ya know!"
Last week, he told me his baby was in the hospital because she broke her leg when she was learning to crawl. Sad.

Mariah LOVES one of my students who comes over to our house for class every Tuesday. She waves her arms in excitement and giggles and smiles just looking at her. It is hilarious watching the two of them feed off each other. It's so funny to me that my students already see Mariah as "one of the kids."

My preschoolers seem to alternate between treating Mariah like their little protege and treating her like their own baby sister that's bugging them. Some days they get really intent on trying to teach Mariah how to use an abacus, and other days they whine to me, "Miss Emilyyyy, Mariah's looking at my paperrrrrr."
Guys, she can barely control where her eyes look, let alone use them to read and cheat off your book.