Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Kid Reactions

Sharing the baby news with the  kids I teach has been hilarious.  Some of their reactions over the last month:

"Umm that baby is NOT big enough! You need to eat a LOT more!"
me: "It's still really small! It has a long time to grow in there. Don't worry I have been eating PLENTY. I am starving all the time."
"Why are you starving?"
me: "Because it feels like the baby is eating all of my food!"
"You know what you should do? Just eat broccoli all the time because babies hate broccoli. Then when you want to feed the baby you can just eat chocolate."
(Good prenatal nutrition tip from a 6 year old)

"How big is the baby?"
About a month ago, I showed them that it was about the size of my fist when it was curled up.
"Then how does it put food in its mouth if it's so tiny?"

"Will you bring the baby to show us after it's born?"
me: "Yeah, I might!"
Another kid: "No!! It will just crawl all over everything and rip up our papers!"

"You're chuffy!" (...after poking my stomach. I gather that this is a combination of "chubby" and "fluffy")
me: "Yep...that's how I feel!"

"I hope you're having a girl. I could never have a boy. Do they still have orphanages? I would probably drop all the boy babies off there if I had any."
me: "You'll probably want to wait to have kids until you don't care if it's a girl or boy."
"Then I guess I'll never have kids. Or get married."

One 5 year old made up a charming little song that goes like this: "Your belly isn't big enough! Your belly isn't big enough!" sung to the tune of Peanut Butter Jelly Time. This one really caught on yesterday and the other kids in the class love it. I try not to encourage it but it really does make me laugh.


"So you're going to get really really big and turn into a giant!!"
me: "Yeah more or less."
"How will we recognize you??"

(Other popular concerns have been about what happens if the baby gets too big and explodes out of my stomach, what happens if the baby also has its own baby inside my belly, what would happen if they poked my belly with a needle, etc...)


All of the baby talk has sparked a lot of interest with a few of the older kids (7-9) about babies and where they come from. I try to steer clear of those conversations as much as possible, but one of the little girls was really beating around the bush with this one:
"So what's it called when you get married?"
"You mean a wedding?"
"Yeah. And then the party where everyone dances?"
"The reception..."
"And when the man and woman go on vacation by themselves after the wedding?"
"The honeymoon."
"Right. The honeymoon. Soooo...that's when they spend a lot of TIME together??"

This same girl also asked me a couple weeks ago:
"How many fur coats do you have?"
"Zero."
"Boring! Ugh that is so boring! When I'm a grown up I'm gonna have a lot of fur coats. I'm saving up for one now. It costs a thousand dollars. But I already have seven."

Some of the kids have been very helpful with the name suggestions.
"You can name the baby WHATEVER you want! Isn't that cool!"
me: "Yeah it is pretty cool, but there are so many names it's hard to decide!"
"You should name it Princess."
"No, Bob. Like Bob the Builder."
"What about Coconut"
...and the name ideas kinda degenerated from there.

Overall, the kids have been really sweet and curious and they all ask me every week how big the baby is now. They love hearing about the fruit/veggie comparison and I usually show them the app on my phone that has pictures. This week is a bell pepper. It is so cute to see the wheels spinning in their heads as they try to imagine a baby growing in my belly.

8 comments:

  1. Cracking up, especially at chuffy. I'll be using that daily.

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    1. Hahaha I love it now too, it really is the perfect word to describe this awkward pre-maternity clothes stage

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  2. SO funny!! Especially like the "Do they still have orphanages?" part and "what happens if the baby also has its own baby inside my belly". You'll have to keep these posts coming as those kids keep saying entertaining things. And that Peanut Butter Jelly Time song? Instant hit around here. :)

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    1. I totally find myself humming it in my head now sometimes! It is pretty catchy...

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  3. Oh my goodness Emily, you have the funniest job! No wonder you like it so much!! I can totally see a newspaper column devoted to the funny things kids say. Just remember to write down the funny things your children will say too! I wish I had done that more.

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  4. Oh my word...posts like these must continue!!! Love it!!!

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